I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
