I've blown a few things in my day
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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