I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
