I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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