Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
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