Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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