I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
