no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
