Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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