could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize