arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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