Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
