Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
and you fell through a lawn chair
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize