how can u be prego again
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Its about making memories worth repressing
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Randomize
