MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
