This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
