Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Randomize
