i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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