i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Randomize
