Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
