i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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