Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
