What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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