i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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