we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
