I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize