So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
