Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
