i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
