Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Randomize