she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
