I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
