Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
