I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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