girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
