I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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