so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
