so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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