Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
