So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
