Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
