I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
if only i could text you this smell
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I think people are normalizing furries
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
