He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I forget how to act sober
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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