He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize