I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
