now i know why i became what i already was.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
How does it feel to date your dad?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
