Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Can you bring me the toilet please
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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