I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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