i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
