Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
