Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
