bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
