I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
