Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
