You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I bet he comes in French.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
