Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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