I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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