we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
