Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
tell me about the eggs
Randomize