I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
