forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
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