Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize