yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
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