I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
