I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
