im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
