Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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