A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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