I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
