dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Holy sore nipples Batman
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
