id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize