Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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