I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
