Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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